Tuesday, December 13, 2011

The carst ob leebeen'...


Sheet.

The Wooman say, Estorbo? We need to talgh.

I say, Whad? You gonna braghe orp weeth me? You can't! I yam your cad. Eed's por libe! Theeck y theen!

She say, No, Estorbo, eed's abou' money. Moolah. Dineros. $$$'s. Een shord, she say, you hab carst ors a lard of morney thees year (y nebbermine' abou' before!) an' you need to carntreebude sormtheen' to the keetty [man, I hade pons]. Doan' ged me wrong she say, as tears started to feell my ojos, I lorb you, we l...

You do???? You lorb me???? I eenterropted.

Sí , I mean, yes, we lorb you cad. Een fagdh I lorb you so moch I doan' know how I weell eber leab weethoud you.

Really? I as'...you yos sayeen' thad, righ'?

No, Estorbo, I mean eed, she say. You are the bes'.

Prrrrrrrrrr (I can' helb myself. I was theenkeen' I yam fire' por bad behabiour. Too moch beggeen' por agua, too morch blag forr, too morch boice, eep etc.)

Bagh to the morney, she say.

Sheet, I say, I though' you porged thad.

No, say the Wooman. Onportunadely nard.

So she essplains to me that ebery mornth my typhoid peells are carsteen': $39.35
My deeleecious peell parckeds por hideen' the peells:$10 a mornth

Ees equal': $49.95  a mornth.

Waid! I say. I yab ron oud ob toes to do the math!

She go arn:

Eef eenternal medeeceene consoltation: $140.00.
Eef blordtesd to measure T-lebels, eed ees $100 frarm specialees' who keess me arn head. I lighe heem.
Eef blord pressure, ees $52.50.
Eef urine, ees $40 (onless the Wooman cadge my pee goo' ad home).

So. She wan's me to helb. WhadammaIgonnado? I yam a cad!!!

...

So thees ees what I do por now:

I put...smallberbersmallsmallsmallboice...PayPal 'Donate' borton on the righ' side ob blarg. See, eed's there. Blosh.

Ees so embarasseen'. Bod I doan' know how to worgh por dineros. I yab no opposable thormbs.

The Wooman says, Cad?

I say: Si?!

She says, Cad! Eef you esspeghd yoomans to donade their hard-orn' dineros to you, you bedhair peeck orp the pace ob your poseteen'. Starp sleebeen' so morch an' star' bein' fonny!

OK. I say. I try. Bod fors' you hab to ged arf the forgheen' carmpudehair  y geeb a cad a chance to orn his keeb!

OK, she say: I try. I try. We try togethair.

So. Maybe eed ees beeg flarp. Maybe I meessaprobriade fonds y becorm a corropd fad cad, eep! Maybe nard. Ees beeg change. Ees change.

I say, I preefhair dayeen, dayoud.

The Wooman say, I know. Me too. Bod you godda roll weeth the ponches.



23 comments:

  1. Did anyone think about making the best of
    this blog into a book? The best of this blog is all of it, so it could be hard to choose what should be included. The photos alone are fabulous!! And Cat Books sell!!!!

    Something to think about!

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  2. CC - booghs, yes, gracias! Bod the Wooman ees beesy weeth two booghs y they taghe a larng, larng time y maghe berber' leedle morney. ^^

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  3. You could make the best of your blog into a Kindle e-book and sell it on amazon.com. Or you could write other e-books: "The Weet & Weesdom ob Estorbo" might be a big seller.

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  4. Estorbo-san, ai yam made a donation, but it bettur get to the wooman por medicines. You bettur not be eatin catviar an lappin up champain insted of your peells an pelleds. Get well soon!

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  5. What Spikey said.

    Medicines, peach yogurt, organic chicken necks, pelleds: okay. Señor Coconut CDs, partywares, explosives: not okay.

    Miss you buddy.

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  6. Estorbo, you maybe should change your piggy bank to a "chip-in" instead of "donation". Paypal has been giving some bloggers trouble for using the donate button if they are not a "registered nonprofit". It happened to some other catbloggers who were raising money for vet bills. Seems stupid, but there you are.

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  7. Oh Estorbo! My hart gose oud to yew, de Wooman, an de Smoothman. I as' my moother for some doe.
    Purrs and head-buts fram Mizzouri!

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  8. Wooman-Comments:

    Spikey-mama - don't worry. We can't really remember the last time caviar passed our lips, let alone French bubbles... And thank you!

    Becky - could Antonia Banderas be Estorbo's boice?

    John - we promise. And thank you! Maybe just a small fire cracker?

    Anonymous - could you give me a link to one of the bloggers who had trouble (if you can remember who they were)? Thanks for the tip.

    Lanie, thanks for the good wishes.

    Estorbo will be sending personal thank yous as soon as he can figure out his signature.

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  9. Storbie, I still miss you and the late night conversations we had.
    You gave me some good ideas.
    So...how about the calendar featuring 12 images of your handsome self? The small notebook, again with photos.
    Jajaja...I know you'd have to get a fancy-dancy printer for good colours, but some of the deals offered through Flickr, Picasa, Zazzle are not too shabby.
    I'll email you.Or maybe your wooman.

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  10. Dear Estorbo, I will be berber happy to help you because you bring me joy from your blog. Some of us are the keepers of the animals on Earth and we do our best to see that they are okay. It is okay to ask, Amigo:-) But please, no photos of you on the rooftop with a tin cup. That would be too difficult to see;-)

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  11. Estorbo. If the wooman can't manage a book just now, how about a range of postcards/notebooks/calendars/greeting cards etc for the time being? :)

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  12. Simon's Cat is excellent - something along those lines mebbee??

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  13. re Paypal. you can read the saga on this blog starting Nov 21st:

    http://www.margsanimals.com/blogs/index.php/margspets/mycats/mancat-monday-31

    Funds came from an auction held on their behalf. Sure she would be happy to email with you.

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  14. Estorbo,
    I totally get where you're coming from. My mom has spent nearly 5000 dollars on the darg so far this year with no answers yet and 1500 on my teeth (now I'm a toothless old man). Life is expensive. dayeen dayout.
    Mr. P

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  15. And what about rethinking your self imposed ban on ads on the blog site? We'd all understand that decision.
    Like the others, I'm so grateful to you for this blog and am happy to throw something "in the kitty".

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  16. You know I cannard reeseest when you use the smallboice...

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  17. I yam feelin your pain! I work eleventy hundred days a week...Mom says I earn my foods but I think I earn hers too. Mom says on friday I can send you some green papers for your medications. Please get and stay healthy, you are one funny cad!

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  18. that picture of you is so inviting - you grab even the hardest heart with that one

    I do know the pain of vet bills and it is a necessary evil.

    I think it must be Javier Bardem who could pull off Estorbo.

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  19. A leetle sumting is on da way. Felice Navidad!

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  20. Estorbo

    Have sent a little something for you, more in the New Year. Let's say it's from our cats to you.

    Jan x

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  21. We are tres happy to make a small donation ... & truly wish it could be much more but with yet another lil kitten mouth to feed (plus the ved bills) I'm not at all sure how I'll manage the beautiful brood I currently share Black Street with.

    much love les chats de Rue LeNoire

    introducing Bucky (Cyrus) who needs a very good home & ideally not here

    http://29blackstreet.blogspot.com/

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  22. 'storbito, nuestra mamacita, olrebbie, has sended you some green papers wif the magic button on yer website. (she is la mujer who innerduced young lanie de mizzouri's moother to you--we all talg aboud you as eef you were our very own naybor!) we hopes you will stay onna bloggie fureffur!!

    *headbonks* from edmund, nitro, xing lu, an' igmu sapa

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  23. Estorbo guapo hang in there you have many admirers and we love your blog.

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